she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
