I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
