Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I smell like Dick and happiness
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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