are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
