does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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