Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
