You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
