don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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