we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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