i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
