We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
