He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
