That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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