butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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