so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
