she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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