Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
