the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
