just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
