Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
