Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
