He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
