yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
