Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
