I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
