FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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