she looked like the before picture.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
