people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
