**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
