the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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