Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
