Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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