so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
