Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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