this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize