kristin has been a bad kristin
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Found the puke drawer
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
