My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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