I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
