I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
