stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
