cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My cat gives me a boner
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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