Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
