nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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