so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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