it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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