nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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