In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
