yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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