I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
