Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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