yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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