what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
