I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
