24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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