I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
