but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize