i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
