I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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