I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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